Ocean Beach 05

John P. "Christiaan" Guttman

April 20, 1976 ~ April 16, 2022 (age 45)

Tribute


John Paul “Christiaan” Guttman was born April 20, 1976 and left us on April 15th, 2022.

His self-proclaimed “dumpster fire of a body” finally had enough, and he slipped away from natural causes, surrounded by loved ones.

Never one to ever hold back his feelings or opinions, you always knew where you stood with Christiaan. If you were one of the lucky ones that he considered worthy of his affection, he was the most caring, sensitive, loving and empathetic person you could ever imagine.

On the other hand, if you happened to be on the long list of people who he deemed as insufficient human specimens, please know that the curse that he put on you has now lifted upon his death, but you may want to visit a shaman or some sort of gypsy priestess just in case.

Christiaan loved to stir the pot. Both literally and figuratively. He was an amazing cook and was always happy to create something delicious in the kitchen for his loved ones. But, his favorite pot to stir was online. If you don’t have a sense of humor or understand sarcasm – you are, most likely, already offended by this obituary, and chances are, you’ve been offended by one of Christiaan’s posts. If he offended you at some point, please know, he probably didn’t really mean it. Unless you’re someone a cat would hiss at, then yeah, he probably meant it.

Christiaan was one of the lucky ones in life. He connected with his soul mate, his other half. Not a lot of us can say that. It was a true partnership, and a love that transcended this earth. A love that was unconditional and everlasting. A love that most of us yearn for. It was a beautiful sight to behold. He will finally be reunited with Winterbaby, his beloved cat.

At a very close second place to Winterbaby, is Christiaan’s beloved husband, Steven, (aka “Seth”, “Sethanie,” or “Aunt Champagne.”) Steven and Christiaan spent two decades together, loving and supporting each other through all of life’s ups and downs. They traveled the world – first class of course, not in coach with the animals, ew! – and experienced all the wonderful things that life has to offer. They were truly each other’s better half, and complimented each other perfectly. They were, and are, the definition of unconditional love.

Christiaan, in the last couple of years, has gone through so much. Two heart surgeries in a week, 6 surgeries on his Achilles tendon, and all the health problems that accompanied both. Facing these challenges made him re-evaluate how he lived his life, how he was perceived, and how he behaved. He didn’t want to leave this earth without everyone knowing his true self. He was an extremely sensitive soul who cared deeply about his family and friends. Really, really, cared. And, he would want to say that he’s sorry to anyone that he hurt or offended. (Except for, probably, the people cats hiss at.) Lastly, he’d want to say thank you to Steven, the love of his life, who tirelessly and patiently took such good care of him over these last few years.

Christiaan is survived by his husband, Steven Knisley, mother Shirley Guttman, father John (Vickie) Guttman, brother Jeff (Megan) Guttman, sister Julie (Greg) Lambert, Taylor
and Jenna Fitzgerald (Radley, Ripley, Riot) many beloved aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, cousins, countless friends that he considered family, Dave the rescue dog, and his beloved cat Boukie Boukie (aka “that bitch Boukie”) He is proceeded in death by Winterbaby Guttman and Murry Knisley.

Although Christiaan wore a bracelet that said “just throw me in the trash,” a service to celebrate his life will be held on Wednesday, April 27th at Moreland Funeral Home in Westerville, Ohio. Visitation will begin at 2:00PM, with the memorial service beginning at 3:00PM.

In lieu of flowers, please donate to CHA Animal Rescue, where he and Steven adopted their beloved dog, Dave. (Boukie came from the bowels of hell.) https://chaanimalshelter.org/donate/

Services

Visitation
Wednesday
April 27, 2022

2:00 PM to 3:00 PM
Moreland Funeral Home
55 E. Schrock Rd
Westerville, OH 43081

Service
Wednesday
April 27, 2022

3:00 PM to TBD
Moreland Funeral Home
55 E. Schrock Rd
Westerville, OH 43081

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